A few days ago, I posted about how my tendency to overcorrect my son during his soccer game zapped all his creativity and flow.
The real side effect was my son playing "not to make a mistake" as opposed to just playing the game.
This week, I began to realize how many times I am simply living in a way that values not making a mistake above all. The fear of failure… well, not even failure, just the fear of doing something that might be seen as a potential mistake, has plagued me.
I still have nightmares about the clumsy handshake from 10 years ago. That one time at CrossFit when I ate it trying to do a movement I had just learned. The one time I misspelled a word in an email to a potential new client.
I could go on for paragraphs; the point is, these things don't really matter.
I don't have too many deep passions, but creativity is one overarching concept that has always been present in my life. Coming to the realization that I have lived a lot of my life terrified to make a mistake, and now seeing the impact it has on creativity, is honestly disheartening.
During a late-night walk with my cousin, who was helping me process some of these wonderings and thoughts, he said something that really flipped a switch in my head.
He shared that from a young age he believed that "mistakes were fatal." Perfection is the goal, and any mistake (and I mean any, big or small) is in direct competition with that directive.
He went on to explain how obviously untrue this is.
This might seem obvious to most, but humbly, I am just beginning to learn the simple act of having a short memory when it comes to making a perceived "mistake."
Perfection is not the goal of this life. And there is something about striving for it that robs us of what living is all about.
All right, that's all.
